November 25, 2008

The Bathroom Chronicles - Part I

Crazy Daisy's friend "K" here. We used to work together and have become good friends over the last several years. We especially enjoy entertaining each other with dramatic stories of the random things that happen to us in our every day lives. As it turns out, this is perfect blog material. Since I don't have my own blog (though Crazy Daisy thinks I should), she asked if she could post the story of one of my recent adventures on her blog. The following is a true story, though any references to specific people or places have been changed to protect the innocent . . .

Episode 1: Five People, One Toilet

It all began early on Sunday morning. K lay sleeping soundly in her bed. Unbeknownst to her, her dad was in the bathroom next to her room . . . wreaking havoc. The idea was to replace a leaky wax seal around the bottom of the toilet. He removed the toilet and put it in the bathtub, rendering both of them useless.

K awoke to the sound of a vacuum. She put a pillow over head only to be awoken once more, this time by a knock on the door and a request for her hair dryer. She went back to bed, figuring she would just get up when the bathroom repairs were complete. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

12 noon came around, and she had to get out of bed. Her dad was nowhere to be found, though the bathroom radio was blaring and the light was on. She called him on his cell phone only to find out that several pieces of tile needed to be reset, so he was off to the hardware store to get some contact cement. She wanted so badly to wash her hair, but as the toilet was in the bathtub, she could not fulfill this desire.

Her dad eventually returned, applied the contact cement, and relayed the news that the cement takes 24 hours to cure. "24 hours!!" K cried. That meant the whole family - five people - would have to use the one bathroom, with the shower curtain for a door, downstairs. As you can imagine, it was very upsetting.

K went to the YMCA so she could take a shower. She managed to cope fairly well that first day, once she got used to the idea of the toilet in the tub. Oh, how she wished her dad had given her fair warning early that morning before he started his work. She and her mom did have one minor success, however, when they convinced him Sunday evening to take the toilet out of the bathtub, so at least the tub could be used. He moved the toilet to a washtub in the hallway.

Monday morning came. She thought things would be fine as her brother usually slept all day and her mom would leave to go work out. Only, her brother foiled her brilliant plan. As if by some miracle, he was up at 8:00 AM, occupying the toilet-less bathroom. She waited, so she could put her hair back and get to her toothbrush. Finally, the bathroom was hers. Now, as most people do when they first get up in the morning, she also needed to visit the bathroom with a toilet. Only, she knew her brother generally made several trips up and down the stairs in the morning to pick up things he forgot or put things away. The bathroom with shower curtain was dead center in the journey between the kitchen and the upstairs. She figured he would be done and out the door soon, so she would wait. And, did she wait. She waited and waited. She heard him come up and down the stairs at least three times. She saw him warm up his car outside and shut it off again. She waited and waited. As anyone knows, everything feels 10 times longer when one is waiting for the bathroom.

Finally, after several false alarms, he left. Sweet relief. She went off to work where she knew they had at least three working toilets on each floor.

Monday night, she returned home to a house with one toilet. Now she waits. She waits to see if the tile can be set and the toilet returned to its home. She imagines horrible scenarios in which she finds out that the grout needs 24 hours to set before the toilet can be set in its place. What will happen next? Stay tuned . . .


1 comment:

  1. Oh, man. I have such a small bladder, I cannot imagine only having one (shower curtained!) toilet!