Can't Sleep

I was getting tired.

I went to bed early.

I can't sleep.

We are (re)looking at a house tomorrow, and I wanted to be bright eyed, and completely awake. However, here I am, almost 3 hours later, awake. I'm very tired. I want to sleep. UGH. Seriously.

This house thing is more stressful than it should be. Now, I realize when one is taking out a loan of this size (well, of any size I suppose) it should be something that should be thought over very carefully. The more someone is wanting to borrow, the more thought and care should be put into it. I get it. However, thought does not (well, should not) equal stress.

Husband and I love and want the same house. However we are on a different time line. I have though it out, talked it over (and over and over), looked at our finances, tried to not be too excited about it (just in case), and now, I am ready to just make an offer all ready!

Husband is more cautious. He loves this house too. However wants to double, triple check everything. He is interested in saving a little more and waiting a couple more weeks, then make an offer. (now with my income, yeah, a couple weeks makes a difference!).

On top of all that, he doesn't want to talk about it. I mean, we had the conversations, however he doesn't want to re-have them. The way my mind works, the longer I have to wait and wait and wait, the more I want to talk about it! This is how I don't explode with anxiety. I talk it to death!

I'm confused. I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to see this house again tomorrow morning, however what for? Why are we looking at it, if we are not going to make an offer soon? If we are making an offer in a couple weeks, then maybe we should wait a couple weeks to see it again... I don't know.

I have all these emotions running through me. I want to be excited, however mixed in is frustration, confusion, and anxiety. I don't want to look back on my buying a house experience I remember how frustrated I was.

I want to be financially responsible, however I believe we are. We have a plan, or 2.

We have a budget. We are doing really well with it.

I want this house.

However I almost want to just forget about it.

I don't want to be at odds with Husband.

Right now, I want to sleep, but I cannot.

Seriously. Why is this so hard?